It Doesn’t Matter 2017-36

It Doesn’t Matter!   2017-36

Well, all things matter, but some things, just don’t matter in life.

I use the phrase “Oh Well!!!” many times in life now. I have done so since I had a horrific automobile accident that changed my life forever. It is my way of coping with life.

We can either deal with life as it is or try to change it. Some things cannot be changed and now we have a choice of either living with it or suffer the consequences by fighting it and either winning or losing something in the process.

“Oh Well” has helped me as I said.  I do NOT especially like something that has happened, but saying these two words, gets me by and allows me to continue with life as it is.

Recently, I have also added, “It doesn’t matter” in my list of sayings to state, when the little or big things occur. 

What these three words do, is get me beyond the present moment and makes me realize that, in life, many things JUST DON’T MATTER, in the long-term way of life.

Of course, things DO matter, but many of the little things that get to us, can be put in the bin of discards of life as not being important in the long-term.

How many of us get upset at many of the small occurrences of life and allow them to irk us, annoy us, or at times, control us and our actions?  

This is where my new utterance of “IT doesn’t matter” helps me, again, cope with daily life. I do NOT want to be controlled by stupid, petty, things that are not important.  I have enough problems just dealing with daily issues that are a result of my accident to have little things get in the way of the enjoyment of life.

I have and do, hide, when I can, the effects of a closed head brain injury from the accident, that I deal with EVERYDAY. Most people do not realize how I feel in the daily activities of my life, and I don’t go out of my way to express them to others. I hide my emotions, my physical feelings, to allow me to get on with life in as normal of a way as I can and not because I am ashamed or trying to be acting like normal. I don’t and have not done this since April 1997.

Anyhow, “It doesn’t matter” is my way of dealing with life and it makes me cope with everyday events by putting a feeling of scale of what does and what does not mean something to me. 

I do care for others and how they feel, but for myself, I deal with me in the way I want to and will continue to do so; period.

Peace be with you,

Den Betts

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Mean Spiritness 2017-34

Mean Spirited   2017-34

 

I had a nonviolent run in with what I would call a “mean spirited” person the other day.  Some would have called him a bastard with mental problems, but I will not do so. The details are not that important, but the thought that there are people out there that are like that, is in-settling.

What exactly is mean spirited? One definition of mean-spirited is someone that is unkind, motivated by cruelty or intended to be hurtful. An example of a meanspirited person is someone who loves to see others fail. That is one definition, but there are many that can be used to describe this person.

I know of one that claimed to be a racist and in the way he told me, I could tell he was, somewhat, even proud of the fact he was one of “them”. How the H     can you be proud of being a racist with all the things that are known about the past ones and how they acted?

I think he was also a typical (if there is a typical) mean-spirited person.  He is, in my mind, a very unhappy person, has ills that make him look at life in a negative way, and his life might have been not what he wanted it to be.  Not sure of the last one, but he does not brag about how his life was in the past.

Mean-spirited people have their own agenda based on sometimes cowardly and petty actions they have done, timidness in nature, weak minded overall and just plain MEAN in nature.

At times, we have to put up with these people, due to a relationship of some sorts. This can be a short and if they are a large part of your life, it could be a long term and emotional pain of dealing with them.

I remember the racist one I know.  He would bait me and say things to see if I would argue with him, and I did NOT play into his power game of life.  I did not want to get into an attitude of being like him, mean-spirited in a negative way, because I would have been just like him.

I ended up not seeing this person again and do not try to contact him, go to breakfast or any other way of communicating with him.  I feel better in doing so.  I do not have to grit my teeth when listening to him spout off about subjects I feel are wrong.

It could be that he needs help in some way professionally, but I am not his keeper, and the distance is too long for me to get involved on a regular basis.  I would not be surprised he does not miss me, and is happy, in his way, with his life. Don’t know; don’t care; moving on!

We control our surroundings for the most part and happiness is up to each of us to attain. Taking personal responsibility for our actions IS the road to happiness.

Den Betts

Coward 2017-28

I thought of this one I wrote when I watched the Charlottesville, Va. murder by car on TV the weekend of 7-12-17. The young man that mowed down innocent people during a rally by the evil people that belong to the KKK, White Nationalists and White Supremacists groups showed how much of a coward he was by doing his thing with a car.  This is NOT what decent people do here in America or across the world.

 

Coward   2017-28

A person who cowers when others do their duty,

afraid with fright to continue.

One who refuses to participate in a common goal

as the whole pitches in

Who stands alone while others continue in the quest

to accomplish the stated objectives.

Those that look out for selves at all times and

forget their fellow man when needed.

Whose direction or travel is opposite to the

flow of others in an emergency.

Who hide behind a mask or darkness of night

to state their warped beliefs against fellow man.

Who feel the need to degrade with words; to slur

instead of address their own hidden fears.

An individual or group that bullies the few or one,

by intimidation or physical violence.

Whose greatest fear is the fear that they will

be found out to be cowards that they are….

 

Den Betts

Granting of Life 2017-27

So EASY to do, taking life for granted!!! We all expect tomorrow to arrive, life to go on, and on and on…….  I sometimes sit and contemplate life in general, my life and lives of others I know.  It is NOT a given, something that will never end, but is something to appreciate while we have it here on Earth.

Granting of Life   2017-27

 

Taking life for granted, at times,

is an easy thing to do.

The repetitious existence we live,

a sameness, of happenings –nothing new.

 

The birds flying by, making noise,

and bees buzzing – creating honey

The grass needs cut again, of course;

girls being annoyed by little boys.

 

All our senses gather data each day,

sometimes not as good as before,

But with a sensual diminishment,

consider if they were taken away.

 

Knowing what we are born with

and then learn to improve with time.

The walking, running and everything,

is now a normal expected thing.

 

If taken away, any will be missed,

when something was always there.

The parting is not fair, and really

should have been more appreciated

 

Den Betts

 

 

Enjoyment of Life 2017-26

 

How should we enjoy life?  Many go about their lives, living from day to day, in an existence of getting just by, from daylight to nighttime. BUT, do we enjoy our lives in the middle? Do we enjoy our reality of living life in the fullest until the end of our human span of living? I like to envision my life now, as one that has a purpose with no promise of tomorrow, but with an enjoyment of today, good, bad or indifferent; but always as full as can be…………..

 

Enjoyment of Life  2017-26

Death is not a stranger

but instead is one to be recognized

as being in our midst.

Not wanted or loved,

but acknowledged as being part

of our existence.

A final act in the play of life itself.

Tomorrow is not a promise,

yesterday was a gift,

Today should be enjoyed

for and how it is.

Den Betts

Expressions of Love 2017-25

I was looking for a post to make and came up with this poem I wrote a while ago and thought it would be great. Too much, I write about things that are, at times, negative in nature and this one will suffice to make up for some of them.  Love is a word, but it means so very much to many people and it sure beats hate and discord.

 

Expressions of Love  2017-25

 

The absolutes of love are real,

It various as the species abound,

Expressions of feelings take many forms,

As one, the other, or both reflect.

The frolicking young with heart so full,

And the ageless, speaking with unspoken words.

How grand, how majestic – the feeling of love,

A thing to share, without restraint of time.

A gesture here, a look across a room,

A smile, a whisper in the ear.

Sparkles or twinkling in the eye,

As a lover looks at the other.

A rose, a card, or nothing more,

Than a touch of a hand on a cheek.

Love, a word so often used,

But expressed in so many ways.

Den Betts

 

Judging 2017-20

 Judging  2017-20

Why do we judge!”?

I would think that we do so, because we are what we are; judgmental in nature because we are human. Make sense?

No? Well, that may be so, but there are probably good reasons why we are so. And really, that’s the way it is, so live with it. If we say we do not judge, think again, do you, do we? Probably yes, in some way, sometime, somewhere.

Being judgmental tends to make us too quick to judge and very critical of another person or thing and somewhat makes us a judgmental prig. That, by the way, means one who offends or irritates by observance of properties (as of speech or manners) in a pointed manner or to an obnoxious degree.

I would not like to be considered priggish, but If I am, so be it.  I really do not think so, but I do not like the thought of being that way.

Anyway, most of us judge others; period!

Now that this is said, I again, ask WHY DO WE JUDGE!????

I would think that the way we measure ourselves, is how we measure others, and therefore assume how others measure you too. REALLY?

Let us say that we have standards in life!  First off, what is a standard that we use? I would believe it is by our authority that we use as a basis of comparison in life. Therefore, it is something we can use as a basis of judgement such as morals, habits, ethics, or anything considered an approved model to compare.  Close enough.

IF we use a yardstick for ourselves, we also use it to judge the rest of the world, good or bad or indifferent.

Let me talk about religion.  I recently was reflecting on how religion plays a rule in life for some people. If someone thinks that value comes from their faith in a higher power, then they will view others by THEIR faith (or lack of faith) in a higher power.  This is not fair to the others, because WHO says we are right or our religion is correct or not correct? We need not judge when it comes to religion; period!

Someone told me that it is OK to judge those that did something bad, and that is why we have police, courts, judges, and jails. I believe when someone goes outside the accepted norm of life and breaks the law, for instance, then there are rules that are in place to prosecute those offenders.  If I am on a jury, then I will judge the offender once all the facts by the prosecutor and defender of the accused are presented.  Wow, I have become a judgmental person, I guess.

There are many instances where we can say that judging is NOT wrong! There are many ways to show how we measure ourselves against others, and I will leave with this thought.

Judge not, lest ye be judged!

Den Betts