Hanging in There 2018-76

Hanging in There  2018-76

A simple expression that means so much to some people, but nothing to others. It tells us something, but, in reality, says nothing about us to anybody.

I learned to say this as a means of defense, or at least, a way of not having to explain how I actually was feeling at the time of saying it.

A neighbor, now long ago it seems, always was telling me, “You look great, how’s it going?” This was after my accident in my car, and after spending 7 weeks in the hospital and rehab, and experiencing a year in outpatient rehab at Lake West Hospital in Willoughby, OH.

I knew he was trying to make me feel good, but I finally said to him one day after his question, “Vic, I feel like shit, actually!”  The point is, I realized somewhat then, that I had to come up with a different response, therefore, “I’m hanging in there” became a common refrain to anyone asking or commenting on my condition, at that time period.

So, this has carried over to today and I still use it, when I have episodes that are a carryover from my time of over 25 years ago.  Still have them, will have them, life goes on regardless.

I am not being a smartass or vague or deceitful, but perhaps just somewhat honest. If that bothers any, well that is too bad and tuff; just deal with it. I do a decent job of surviving and interacting with others and try very hard to not be a whining, a feel sorry for self, person about a time in  my life, that changed my life forever.

My “Hanging in There” is the only concession I will allow myself to express how I feel. Therefore, I respectfully say again, deal with it.


Den Betts        Email: bettsden@gmail.com   Blog: thebettsden.com

It Doesn’t Matter 2017-36

It Doesn’t Matter!   2017-36

Well, all things matter, but some things, just don’t matter in life.

I use the phrase “Oh Well!!!” many times in life now. I have done so since I had a horrific automobile accident that changed my life forever. It is my way of coping with life.

We can either deal with life as it is or try to change it. Some things cannot be changed and now we have a choice of either living with it or suffer the consequences by fighting it and either winning or losing something in the process.

“Oh Well” has helped me as I said.  I do NOT especially like something that has happened, but saying these two words, gets me by and allows me to continue with life as it is.

Recently, I have also added, “It doesn’t matter” in my list of sayings to state, when the little or big things occur. 

What these three words do, is get me beyond the present moment and makes me realize that, in life, many things JUST DON’T MATTER, in the long-term way of life.

Of course, things DO matter, but many of the little things that get to us, can be put in the bin of discards of life as not being important in the long-term.

How many of us get upset at many of the small occurrences of life and allow them to irk us, annoy us, or at times, control us and our actions?  

This is where my new utterance of “IT doesn’t matter” helps me, again, cope with daily life. I do NOT want to be controlled by stupid, petty, things that are not important.  I have enough problems just dealing with daily issues that are a result of my accident to have little things get in the way of the enjoyment of life.

I have and do, hide, when I can, the effects of a closed head brain injury from the accident, that I deal with EVERYDAY. Most people do not realize how I feel in the daily activities of my life, and I don’t go out of my way to express them to others. I hide my emotions, my physical feelings, to allow me to get on with life in as normal of a way as I can and not because I am ashamed or trying to be acting like normal. I don’t and have not done this since April 1997.

Anyhow, “It doesn’t matter” is my way of dealing with life and it makes me cope with everyday events by putting a feeling of scale of what does and what does not mean something to me. 

I do care for others and how they feel, but for myself, I deal with me in the way I want to and will continue to do so; period.

Peace be with you,

Den Betts